I sinned. It doesn’t really matter what it was, but I rebelled against God, and I am frustrated and ashamed.
I don’t want to again. A friend of mine and I recently were discussing Paul’s comments in Romans 7:18 “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing [that is, the desire to do good] is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.”
We can’t possibly misrepresent Paul’s comments as meaning that sin is not our responsibility. Our flesh presses us with ungodly desires, but our actions are wholly tied to the intent of our minds and spirits. Our flesh does not sin, our whole being sins, and the fact that we are children of the Light only magnifies the depth of our depravity. Though we may be truly protected by the blood of Christ from the fires of eternal Hell, when we sin we demonstrate even greater rebellion against our saving and faithful God than those who know him not. We reject his ways as insufficient to our needs and desires, and diminish the trust he gives us through faith that tells us there is something better to be found in him.
Then there is the destruction of our relationship with our loving Father. It is not that sin causes him to turn his face from us, but that we have turned our whole being from him. At this juncture of our lives, as believers saved by Grace through Faith, we have no fear of his wrath against us, but there is disappointment for us and for him, there is shame for us, and our usefulness to God is directly impacted by our sin. Are we faithful with the riches he has given us to ensure they are used to multiply his kingdom? Do we hide those riches or do we invest them? And do we lose his riches through sin?
I am reconciled to God today, despite the fact that I deserve punishment. I praise him for that. But I am not satisfied with being reconciled. I don’t want to sin again, yet I know I will. Can I stop it? Each opportunity to sin is before me as a fundamental passage to a richer experience with God. It’s not so much whether I can resist the desire to sin, but can I embrace the love of Christ to carry me through my temptation. And when I am able to, I know my redeemer can reside within me and work through me more than before because I am trusting him to carry me through all.
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